Friday, March 16, 2007

THE COMEBACK QUEEN

I love the disability website OUCH, below is a copy of one of their TopTen Lists followed by the comebacks that I would love to make.

Ouch Top Ten
Ten things not to say to a parent in front of their disabled child

Ever wondered just what not to say to a parent in front of their disabled child? Well, now you don't have to - here's the top ten, as sent in to us by Ouch reader Sandra Robertson, mum of Helen.

1

"What’s wrong with her then?"

(SHE HATES STUPID PEOPLE)

2

"How long will she live?"

(LONGER THAN YOUR FAT ASS)

3

"It’s such a shame – and she’s so pretty too "

(UNLIKE YOU, YOU MEAN)

4

"Does she eat anything?"

(OBVIOUSLY NOT AS MUCH AS YOU)

5

"Aaah!"

(SOD OFF)

6

"She knows who you are then?"

(THE PERSON WHO FENDS OFF STUPID PEOPLE)

7

"Look! she’s smiling."

(LOOK! YOU'RE FARTING)

8

"Your older children must be such a comfort to you."

(BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT)


9

"You won't be having any more."

(NO, YOU ARE DEFINITELY THE POSTER CHILD FOR EUGENICS)



10

"You are great to keep her at home."

(AS OPPOSED TO IN A ZOO)

Got any disability themed top tens for us? Email your suggestions to ouch@bbc.co.uk, and we'll display the best ones here!



My own Top Ten for people asking questions about why I have 6 children

1 Wow.........didn't you have TV?
Actually Yes, I love the film Meet the Fockers

2 Was there an electricity Power Failure (Brown-Out)?
When? Last night when your brain was plugged in and being re-charged!

3 Was it something in the water?
What, that affected your ability to think and talk at the same time?

4 Have you never heard of condoms?
Have you ever heard of tact?

5 C-O-NT-R-A-C-E-P-T-I-O-N!
I-D-I-O-T!

6 Are you trying to populate the world single handedly?
Now that wouldn't populate the world now would it?

7 Do you have shares in Pampers?
(Well now you ask..................! sorry Anastasia, I couldn't stop myself!)
Do you have shares in The Priory?

8 Were you trying for a football team?
No, I was bonking them!

9 Are you Catholic?
Were you kidnapped by a cult that stole your brain?

10 I feel sorry for your husband
Which one? The one who was inconsiderate enough to die young and leave me a young widow or the other one who I married afterwards and decided that I would give childbirth another go with.The real reason why I have 6 children.(Said with a smile).

6 comments:

Steve said...

Sending positive vibes! :-)

Jerry Grasso said...

For 'ya'll' across the pond, isn't it 'arse' versus 'ass'?

I'm going to call out this link on my blog. Very funny stuff.

Thanks for stopping by my site!

Cheers, Jerry

Anonymous said...

Have you seen this one. It's not funny, but it makes numerous valid points.

10 things every child with autism wishes you knew

http://www.southflorida.com/sfparenting/sfe-sfp-autism,0,6196233.story

S.

MOTHER OF MANY said...

I have just read
10 things every child with autism wishes you knew
And it is brilliant, thank you for sending me the link.

chrisd said...

Those are great-btw, what's the Priority? ???

MOTHER OF MANY said...

The Priory is Mental Health Hospital,but celebs tend to book themselves in for a few days of rest and rehab.I have now linked the Priory in the main post.

MISSY

MISSY
BEAUTY

MAMMA BLOGGING ABOUT BEAUTY AND HER SISTERS


An Irish Blessing

(A Blessing from St. Patrick)
May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

May the rains fall soft upon your fields,

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.