Tuesday, January 30, 2007


As I sit here necking back medication , I think again about what life must have been like before the advent of all these drugs.I think watching Cadfael on TV was my first real experience of seeing somebody prepare and use natural products in healing and yes I was impressed. I also remember seeing the girls making a love potion in Practical Magicbut I think I was too interested in Goran Visnjic to notice much else of what was going on!
I love the idea of using herbs and natural products as healing remedies and if that was my only alternative then I would definitely use them but unfortunately they just do not do it for me. Hobbling around first thing in the morning with joints that have as yet not woken up with the rest of my body is not fun and the thought of a life without their effects is just too awful to contemplate.
Yes I am lucky to be able to live in a country where I can make an appointment and see a doctor, and get the medication I need(well if the Welsh Assembly has approved it and doesn't think it is too expensive).It must be awful to need expensive medications and find that your county or country does not provide it. I am grateful for everything that Beauty gets but getting certain things for her can be a lot harder work. I am a strong advocate of justice and I believe that all children deserve the best but when the Local Education Authority makes me me grovel and beg for money to pay for essential services at Beauty's school I want to shout at them that they at least need to give me a little dignity. Whilst my employment history has been patchy due to my child bearing years, I have contributed whenever I have been working and Beauty's dad has worked all his adult life so don't make me feel that that I am begging. But them I should be grateful that they treat all parents equally and fairly, they make us all beg and grovel!

This morning after dropping Beauty off at school I went up to ASDA, Pontprennau to buy some things for my holiday. For a while now I have felt that ASDA has had a supply and demand problem, it is a case of you buy a product when you see it or the next time you go it is gone and it never comes back. Last week SnoWhite went to Vienna to visit Anastasia and Dimitri and she bought a really nice suitcase from ASDA to use, so this morning I thought I would go and get one as the zip on one of mine broke on our trip to New Orleans. Big Mistake! all the suitcases were gone, totally gone, shipped out, not to be seen again. Then on the way out the clothes that I had bought for Beauty went off on the security alarm as they hadn't gone through the till scanner properly!Save me.
Then I went to WHAT! a bargain shop to by some painting supplies and close to the entrance as you went in was a 4 poster bed for a dog! F-O-R---A---D-O-G! I kid you not.Oh please! I am so losing my sense of humor.
And the final straw came at the till where a 'fur and no nickers' type watched as the shop assistant scanned all her purchases and then after paying and receiving her receipt, Mrs 'no nickers' stood there and allowed the assistant to pack her purchases(you are meant to pack your own), unabashed. I would have been mortified and insisted on doing it myself.


Big Brother bullies should seek professional help says Shilpa

Shilpa Shetty today spoke of her shock after seeing footage of the bullying against her for the first time.She told a national newspaper she had no idea the bullying was so bad until she watched the complete footage of her ordeal.The tearful Big Brother winner said she was "deeply hurt" and added: "I can understand why people complained so much. It isn't just one or two attacks - it's incessant."And she said bullies Jade Goody and Jo O'Meara must seek "professional help" to overcome their problems.

I couldn't agree more!

Now this has p*ssed me off!

Lone parents facing benefit cut
Lone parents could face cuts to their benefits under government plans to get more of them into work.Currently, single parents receive payments until their youngest child is 16. Ministers want to cut that to 11.Work and Pensions Secretary John Hutton says this will stop lone parents moving "seamlessly" on to incapacity benefit once their child-related benefits stop.But charity One Parent Families said many of those affected by the plans were caring for disabled children.In a speech later, Mr Hutton will say Britain has one of the lowest levels of lone parent employment in Europe, with almost half on benefits.He will say he has evidence that up to a third of lone parents move on to incapacity benefit once their child benefit ends as their youngest reaches 16.

Why just Lone Parents? What about couples? So if you are on your own and do not find a job you will lose benefit but if you are a couple it is ok!
Is 'Welfare to Work' working in the USA?
Has the government seen 'Bowling for Columbine'?

Monday, January 29, 2007


Busy day today yet I do not feel I have achieved much. My web design class this morning and a Doctors appointment this afternoon. I wonder why I bother making an appointment to see the Doctor.My surgery operates a system whereby if you phone before 9am you can see the Doctor that morning but you may have to sit and wait for an hour or two so I try the best I can to make an afternoon appointment and what happens? The appointment takes 9 days to get( and yes my toes could have dropped off with gangrene in the meantime ............imaginary example!) and what happens? I sit and wait for almost an hour so the Doctor can fit in EXTRA appointments to be seen for less than 5 minutes to be told that yes my arm is really painful but the Doctor doesn't know why and do I want stronger tablets( remember I need to drive and take care of a very active 6 year old) and get a prescription for antibiotics for a not quite toe infection caused by bumping my toe repeatedly.They allocate 10 minutes per patient but I aim to be in and out in 5 but my Doctor assures me that many patients come more for the chat than the medical advice. The government wants to cap GP's wages, poor sods deserve every penny they get as I know I couldn't do what they do.

GP pay 'should have been capped'
By Nick Triggle
Health reporter, BBC News
The government should have capped the money GPs can make out of their new contract, the health secretary says.The proportion of profits GPs take out of their practices has increased since the new contract started in 2004, pushing average pay above £100,000.In an interview with the BBC News website, Patricia Hewitt said in hindsight ministers would have wanted to ensure doctors did not take so much.Doctors criticised Ms Hewitt, saying she was "denigrating" GPs.

Being a nurse I have seen what they have to do and it is not always that pleasant and the smell would be an issue for me. I have very little sense of smell but today I noticed that two other patients next to me were smelling badly and if I could smell them it must have been pretty bad. I think that my lack of smell has come from years working in nursing homes, I can usually be directly over something and not smell it. Recently there was a celebrity Salon program on TV and the woman who usually did pedicures couldn't do one punter because her feet smelt so badly. I love doing feet, being the matron I used to do medications, dressings and paperwork and if I had time over I would do patients feet. I would soak them, wash them,put cream on and cut toe nails because whenever I saw a patients feet they were almost always dirty between the toes and none of the carers seemed to want to do them. Everyone whitters on about HOLISTIC care but in theory most(not all) carers that I have come across are more interested in doing as little as possible. Doctors have to deal with patients from all walks of life, from the streets to the very wealthy so they are put at risk daily from physical and verbal abuse and at risk of catching some pretty hideous infections and diseases. The constant stream of physical, social and mental problems with no end must be soul destroying. I have a friend who trained at the same time that I trained as a nurse and he is now a consultant, he deals with children with heart problems and I so could not do that. It takes a special person to do that kind of work.
However, I also think it takes special people to clean toilets, deal with waste, clean and service drains, do basic rate jobs and be proud of what you do. I have been happy to work as a cleaner, cloakroom attendant, cook, and many other basic rate jobs to ensure my children were fed and clothed and warm. I feel that the government fails to to value work when it tries to push further education on people who may not be able to cope with it,I know there are certain things I could not do because I mentally could not keep up with the work. I was brilliant at exams thet had essay type answers but cold facts...........sorry I'm just not up to it. I could never have been a doctor because I could just not remember things in that way, I would have failed all my exams as I do not have a rote type memory. I have constanly told my girls that yes I am glad that they went to university, are going and will be going but I would have been just as happy if the had decided to be a nanny, a carpenter, a bricklayer, a plumber, a plasterer...........they all sound good to me.

I have to comment but YES I am so glad it is over. I am glad that Shilpa won but I also feel that Jermaine deserved to win as he was such a class act. Danielle was wrong with what she did but she did go along way to redeeming herself by saying sorry whereas Jo says she stands by what she has said and would say it all again, NICE GIRL! Ian was also brilliant and should have come ahead of Dirk because I think that Dirk blotted his copy book by not standing up for Shilpa when he was meant to like her.This years show was such a revelation on how people really think and how life is a big act.Whereas life in my house is more a pantomime!

Sunday, January 28, 2007


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It is now 5:55am and Beauty has had a funny old night, more wrigglesome and grumbly than usual.Her sleeping habits are so much better than before and she truly seems happy to go to bed at 9pm, next we shall try 8.45pm and so on. She is a funny little thing at bedtime and insists on being completely covered by the bed clothes.Educationally in many ways she is either at her age group or above but emotionally and developmentally in lots of ways she is still about 18 months and it is still like having a toddler in the house. If nothing else, she is always entertaining!
I often feel regret that my parents never lived to know her as I think they would have been particularly fond of her with her funny little ways, she is a little sweetheart.
A very quiet day yesterday with my body reminding me that I am indeed growing old, I spent a lot of the time lying down and Beauty spent her day between her toys, the computer and coming to give me hugs, kisses and cuddles. Beauty is a very affectionate little girl. Even with all her problems, Beauty is always aware when I am not well and comes to give me lots of hugs which then make me feel lots better.My little star!
Sometimes on a Saturdays I give an older gentleman, who is in a nursing home, a lift to the Conservative Club where he plays bingo and and there is entertainment.Well last night was one of those nights and on the way back we went to get some food in TESCO EXTRA which is open until 10pm on a Saturday. For a year now I have not been eating beef, pork, lamb or chicken or turkey and in January I decided they I needed to stop eating fish as well. Oh that is so hard, Saturday was sushi night! Tesco sell a wonderful sushi tray for £5 and that was my Saturday night treat and it was only 500 calories and I can work that off in my exercise routine. I decided to buy CAULDRON Cumberland Veggie Sausages from the chiller section instead and I had sausage sandwiches, with lots of tomato sauce. So not as good as sushi but pretty good anyway.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I really need to get out more if my idea of enjoyment on a Saturday night is a tray of sushi or veggie sausage sandwiches!

Yes I am a true Brit, I have this daily need to discuss the weather! Others feel the need to shop, party, go to the cinema, drink alcohol etc, etc, etc well me! I just have to have my fix of discussing the weather. And the excuse that makes it ok! I have a daughter living in Florida and another daughter living in Vienna and I discuss the weather on my blog so they have an idea of what life is like at home. My mother used to say that I was a good letter writer and she used to enjoy receiving my letters(pre-internet) when we lived in England. I feel it is my duty to keep my girls in touch with what is happening at home(well that's my excuse and I am sticking to it).
The weather has been very cold and windy here in the last week but yesterday when we went out in the evening, it was really quite pleasant because there was no wind. There were no clouds so the moon was visible and it was quite a nice drive to the shops. I am looking forward to the lighter nights so once again we can take Beauty for walks down the Bay and around the Pierhead. The rest of the week is meant to be cloudy with a little sun but no rain, it will be nice to take Beauty for a walk around the lake in her wagon.Each day when she goes in the car Beauty sees her wagon and eyes it longingly but the weather has just not been good enough to use it.
Corralejo , Fuerteventura , Oasis Dunas.
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We go on holiday on Wednesday to Fuerteventura for the week so there will be plenty of opportunities for taking Beauty to take long sunny walks. My holidays are so exciting, we go to the beach and make sand castles, walk to the shop for my veggie food for the day, go to the park and play on the rides and in the evening go for another stroll. Where we are staying there is night life but any evening entertainment is merely going for a meal in a restaurant. The best place that we went to as far as Beauty was concerned was Malta, we went in July and the weather was beautiful(see weather again!) but in the evening the place came alive with lots of locals walking along the front and partying in their beach huts until the early hours. It was amazing.Oh and the second day we got there Beauty went down with chicken pox and it was so good that the holiday was for two weeks as the spots had gone off her face by the time we went home, if the holiday had been for only one week we would not have been allowed on the plane. The Doctor was brilliant and diagnosed it as an unknown virus and told the hotel that as well so there would not be a problem with the holiday rep and the flights home.

And Zante, where we will be going this summer.
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Saturday, January 27, 2007


How many times in your life do you think you think you will witness an aggressive racist attack on the street? Most people would say that they would expect to not even see it once and having been brought up in Rhoose in the Vale of Glamorgan which, if my memory serves me well had less than a handful of families who were black or mixed race, I would not even expect to have seen it once. During the time I was growing up, I have no memory of my parents ever making a racist comment and I believe that I was influenced by them in how I feel about people whatever their race, colour or religion. When my children were small we lived in Greenham(in a house!)in Newbury next to the airbase and Belle's and SnoWhite's best friends whilst we lived there were the children of black American servicemen. If my children had ever made a racist comment or joke when they were growing up(even now!) I would have slapped them around the back of the head, thankfully I never had to. On SnoWhites mobile, if she uses predicted text then when she puts in her name it comes out as P*A*K*I, what shocks me most is that predicted text has that word stored in it's dictionary.It seems to be a word that I have heard a lot in Cardiff and what angers me most about it's use is that people do not seem embarrassed to use it. I was recently in a class where we had a gentleman from one of the wealthiest areas of Cardiff, he lives about 2 miles from where I live in a road where houses average £750k and in all other ways he seemed the perfect gentleman but one day he described a group of people he knew as P*A*K*I*S! I was shocked.
When I was 21 and I lived on Newport Road, Anastasia was a small baby and I used to walk her over to Albany Road to the shops. One day, coming back from the shops and pushing Anastasia in a pram, I witnessed a very aggressive verbal attack on two young Asian-looking lads by a group of men about my age outside quite a rough pub. I did nothing and I felt awful for doing nothing. The boys were ok and nothing happened to them but I felt awful that I did not say anything and I then made a promise to myself that if I witnessed something like that again then
I would definitely say something. Within a few years I was standing outside a supermarket in Splott (brilliant name) and I witnessed another attack. A group of little 'gob-shites', I am sorry but this phrase is the only one that aptly describes them, were racially abusing two young Asian girls. When I started shouting at the little 'gob-shites' the girls ran away but the more I told the boys off for their behaviour the more they were aggressive, rude and argumentative and could not accept that what they had done was wrong. In the end the little gob-shites ran off, they were aged between 9 and 12! Where could they have learned that behaviour like that was ok.
When Jade exited the Big Brother house she immediately had enough moral fibre to apologise for her behaviour and say she was sorry But did Jo O'Meara when she was evicted from the Big Brother house last night? No.........she was unrepentant. She justified her behaviour by saying that she had family of mixed-race so she couldn't be racist! How so?
Newt Gingrich the former speaker of the US House of Representatives would not agree, he believes that' homosexuals are sinners'but his sister is a lesbian! I love my 15 year old but it doesn't mean that I love all 15 year olds because I have one in my family.
Perhaps a few days in the big wide world might make Jo reevaluate her view of the situation!
According to the news, it seems that police are getting involved. It's not looking good.

Police contact Big Brother's Jade

Police investigating alleged racism on Celebrity Big Brother have made contact with former contestant Jade Goody. Hertfordshire Police have approached Goody and her mother Jackiey Budden with a view to interviewing the pair. Goody, who was evicted last week, was accused of leading racist bullying against Indian actress Shilpa Shetty while on the Channel 4 reality show. Goody has denied being racist but told the News of the World she admitted making racist comments. A police spokeswoman said: "An investigation into allegations of racist behaviour inside the Celebrity Big Brother house is continuing

It's not looking good for the Celebrity Big Brother contestants and 4 and Endemol are probably rubbing their grubby little hands in glee. Remember 4 and Endemol allowed this situation to carry on, even knowing what they were doing to the lives of the individuals involved. The program makers need to take full responsibility for what they have done.

Friday, January 26, 2007


Beauty's 15 nano-seconds of fame has definitely not gone to her head, at 9pm I put her to bed and within 5 minutes she was asleep! No after show parties for that one.

update on blog MEAN PEOPLE
It seems that some of the comments that I made in this blog entry may have been misunderstood.
I said
Ariel has been accepted for Exeter to do Arabic, I would have preferred for her to go to St Andrews(far, far away!) but she likes the idea of Exeter.

And why do I want her to go to St Andrews and not Exeter? The subtle nuance of the joke was if she is in St Andrews I am less likely to hear her verbal outpourings than I would if she went to Exeter! Remember I also went on to say

I am ok with her joining the army but if she gets a posting to a war zone I have warned her that I shall tell the army about her undiagnosed Tourettes(think about it, Tourettes in a war zone! scary).I think she would be good teaching Arabic in some safe army training college(well I can hope can't I?). I have also told Ariel that when she joins the army I shall tell her instructors that if anything untoward happens to Ariel(i.e Deepcut!) I will hunt them down for the rest of time and I mean it!

I said the above because I LOVE HER and like any other mother if anyone tried to hurt her I would have to hurt them! OK? Understood Ariel?
Would I really be ecstatic about you going to St Andrews when I am the one with the people carrier with the top box? Think about it..........I would have to take you there and bring you back. Driving to Tobermory was bad enough. I don't know how our Swiss family copes with the journey between Switzerland and uni on England's south coast, compared to that, Cardiff to St Andrews would be a walk in the park!
Anastasia and Belle overlapped when they were in uni, one in Swansea and one in Bath which meant lots of journeys but thankfully even though SnoWhite will overlap with Ariel with uni, as SnoWhite decided to do her art degree in Cardiff it has meant no long journeys(just frequent short ones between Victoria Park and Pentwyn!).

In my blog entry Mean People I also talked about DOOCE and the problems she has with Mean people leaving comments on her blog, and funnily enough her entry for yesterday was also about another Mean person called 'Catherine'.
Read the following, Dooces most recent bit of HATEMAIL

Leta's room looks like a room that was cleaned and organized after a child had died. It is the saddest, most boring and depressing children’s room I have ever seen.
Btw, when you showed the pics of your house on a previous post, I had thought the same thing.
Your house is so sterile and boring. Browse catalogs much? Every hear of having your own style?
I have 2 kids (boys - [name withheld] 2yrs and [name withheld] 5 months), not that you care, and believe me I am a cleaning fanatic, like you. I am very concerned about germs, bacteria, etc. But you are out of control sterile. It is shocking.
One more thing, my son is 2 yrs old and potty trained. Potty training is probably the easiest thing to do.
Why are you waiting so long to train Leta? You work at home don’t you?

I go to work every day and he is trained on the potty.

If this person is being ironic then I'm afraid that I have missed it. If this person is not on medication then they need to be! Do people really get off on this kind of hatred?
I personally don't care what other people do as long as they are not hurting someone else, I personally do not care what they think, what they do, how they do or don't clean their house, who they have sex with(or how) or how they potty train their constipated child as long they are not hurting anyone else. 'Catherine' definitely needs to chill out a bit more before her head explodes with all the spite that is swirling around inside of it.
Which makes me think of The Parable of the Talents, a remnant from my more religious youth( I now describe myself as spiritual).

The parable tells of a master who was leaving his home to travel, and before going gave his three servants different amounts of money. On returning from his travels, the master asked his servants for an account of the money given to them. The first servant reported that he was given five talents, and he had made five talents more. The master praised the servant as being good and faithful, gave him more responsibility because of his faithfulness, and invited the servant to be joyful together with him.

The second servant said that he had received two talents, and he had made two talents more. The master praised this servant in the same way as being good and faithful, giving him more responsibility and inviting the servant to be joyful together with him.

The last servant who had received one talent reported that knowing his master was a hard man, he buried his talent in the ground for safekeeping, and therefore returned the original amount to his master. The master called him a wicked and lazy servant, saying that he should have placed the money in the bank to generate interest. The master commanded that the one talent be taken away from that servant, and given to the servant with ten talents, because everyone that has much will be given more, and whoever that has a little, even the little that he has will be taken away. And the master ordered the servant to be thrown outside into the darkness.

The parable is apparently the origin of the use of the word "talent" to use a skill or ability, from the common interpretation of the story to teach that we are under a moral obligation to use our abilities rather than bury them.

I have always liked this parable because it teaches that we all have talents, things that we are good at but the talents all come in different forms. I know my talent, my best talent is that I am a multi-tasker. My children think I am a good cook but really I am just a good microwave technician. I have learnt to be able to do many things at once, I can cook a meal and read a book at the same time, watch TV and exercise and my most favourite multi-tasking of all is to put on the dishwasher, washing machine and tumble dryer and go to sleep and wake up feeling that I have achieved something(gained quality sleep time and done household chores). And to all you perfect mothers out there like 'Catherine', I AM NOT ASHAMED. I am afraid like many other people in this world my life does not fit into the perfect little box and I do what makes me feel most comfortable or happy and fits into my family life(i.e a life that fits around Beauty!).
Yes I can be judgemental of people, I hated the way Jade, Jo and Danielle treated Shilpa on Celeb BB and I said so but I recently read in the METRO newspaper(Tuesday January 23 2007) that Jade is being treated for depression and shock because of what happened on her eviction from the BB house. Well I personally feel sorry for her, is this the mother or the nurse or just caring about another human being coming out in me I don't know but the media now needs to back off and give her and her family space and keeping Jack in the house without her is not exactly helping. I feel that we humans are too quick to judge and too slow to forgive, we should be more like dogs, no matter what you do to a dog they will always love you and come back.
And my views on the news

Child porn sentence is condemned
Children's charities have condemned a judge's decision not to jail a man who downloaded child pornography, amid the row about prison overcrowding.
Judge John Rogers QC suspended Derek Williams' sentence, saying he had to consider a Home Office request to jail only the most serious offenders.
The lord chancellor has denied claims by opposition MPs that the judiciary's discretion appeared to be influenced.
Williams, 46, of Blaenau Ffestiniog, Gwynedd, said he was "lucky to be out".
His six-month term of imprisonment was suspended for two years.
Williams was also ordered to register with the police as a sex offender for the next seven years and placed under supervision.

I personally weep for the abused children whose images were downloaded from the internet by this man who is now back on the streets. This man may as well have abused these children himself, it is his desires that fuel the production of such sites.
My question is,' John Reid-How do you sleep at night?'

How can our families and children be safe when this kind of idiotic decision is made?
Early release a shoplifter, or somebody convicted of fraud or other non-violent crimes but please consider mine and other people's children when people like this are not convicted. This individual no longer has access to internet child pornography so how is he going to satisfy his
unnatural desires?

Resignation adds to Reid pressure

Pressure on home secretary John Reid has increased after it emerged the head of the Youth Justice Board (YJB), Professor Rod Morgan, has quit.

Prof Morgan attacked Labour's young offenders policy and said children's prisons were being "swamped".
Mr Reid is already under fire on prison overcrowding after a man who downloaded child pornography was spared jail.
The judge in the case said he had to follow Mr Reid's call to avoid jailing all but the most serious offenders.
In an exclusive interview given to BBC Two's Newsnight, Prof Morgan, says youth courts and children's prisons are being "swamped" with minor offenders who are "cluttering up" the system.

And yes I hope he does lose his job and the government learns from this HUGE mistake.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


Another applicant to the Wales 60 is Allyson Westwood-Howell, a mother of six girls from Pentwyn in Cardiff - and one of them, Niamh, has autism.
She told us it was important to her to exercise her right to vote, something her father, a former county councillor, had taught her.
"So often politicans, I feel, are more interested in what they feel will get them votes, they don't necessarily listen to what everyone has to say.
"Everyone has an opinion and I think that the only way you will be heard is if you speak out and say what you feel - it's not enough just to say this is not fair or this is not right."

The only way you will be heard is if you speak out and say what you feel
Allyson Westwood-Howell

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If you go into this page on WALES TODAY
and press on Watch the latest edition of Wales Today
you will see our nano-seconds of fame. Our bit starts at22.51 when played through Real Player.

Now I have to wait and see if I will actually be on the WALES 60 Panel so I can make my feelings known about Special Educational Needs funding and other aspects of Special Needs.



Ariel has been accepted for Exeter to do Arabic, I would have preferred for her to go to St Andrews(far, far away!) but she likes the idea of Exeter. One of her cousins is already there and another cousin has applied for this year. Ariel wants to join the army and do officer training, Ariel is the one who spontaneously makes noises, sings loudly, keeps me awake with her chatting and seems to have a run away gob and we call her Tourettes girl. I am ok with her joining the army but if she gets a posting to a war zone I have warned her that I shall tell the army about her undiagnosed Tourettes(think about it, Tourettes in a war zone! scary).I think she would be good teaching Arabic in some safe army training college(well I can hope can't I?). I have also told Ariel that when she joins the army I shall tell her instructors that if anything untoward happens to Ariel(i.e Deepcut!) I will hunt them down for the rest of time and I mean it!Ariel is not impressed with that.
Anyway, a 4 year degree, then army training should mean that we will be out of Afghanistan and Iraq!
I know , we will probably be in somewhere like Iran by then!
Anyway, as we are on the subject of Tourettes girl.........she has broken a toe and I had to take her to the fracture clinic this morning, during rush hour traffic! Not just the rush hour traffic but she also demanded money with menaces GIVE ME MONEY OR I WILL TORTURE YOU WITH MY PRESENCE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! £2 was enough to get rid of her! Rush hour traffic and mugged by a 17 year old is a bit much for a thursday morning when you are lacking sleep. Thankfully Fiona has no predisposition towards Tourettes, attitude but no Tourettes thank goodness!
Yesterday in my blog I talked about my friend and there had been a murder around the corner from where he lived,well it seems it is a neighbour of his that has been killed. We live in such a sad world, why do people have to do such terrible things to each other. It seems that she may have been attacked for her handbag, most people would give you their last penny if they thought you really needed it but killing for what was probably only a small amount of money is so pointless. A life snuffed out for maybe a handful of change because who takes a lot of money with them on a night out?

Another pointless attack!
Why are people just so mean? Dooce regularly does an entry on all the hate mail she receives.
This is one of the blogs that I read BLOGGERTROPOLIS, read this recent entry Television Is Evil (Apparently) and the indicated comments.
Not only does Anonymous feel it is their divine right to be mean to someone else but they also are such cowards they cannot even sign their name. I may give my opinions on others on TV
but you know my name and you can email me and tell me if you think I am being unfair or a sh*t anytime you want to . What is it with cyberbullying? I think it is a bit like the school text bullies who are so big and strong that they do what they do anonymously.
I am not ashamed to watch TV and enjoy it. As a family we watch a lot less TV than other people we know because we do such a lot with our lives but that doesn't give anyone else the right to be so pompous and judge us. Last time I looked the laws of this country said that watching TV was not illegal(not even reality TV!) and as I have free agency I shall continue to exercise my free agency doing something that I enjoy that hurts no one else. So please Anonymous- BOG OFF!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007



Last night I had a rubbish sleep and it was nothing to do with the 6 year old, believe it or not the 17 year old and the 21 year old were both vying for the place of biggest pain in the a*se! The 17 year old is a teenager(enough said!) but the 21 year old should know better. On the ground floor of my house I have had a bedroom and kitchen extension built because of my disability and because I sleep downstairs I hear anything that goes on in the downstairs of the house.LAST NIGHT WAS NO EXCEPTION!
SnoWhite is sleeping over as she is going to Vienna today to visit Anastasia and Dimitri and Ariel is at the house because she saw her young man last night who lives in a place called Pontprennau which is 5 minutes from the house(though I am not happy that she came in at 1:30am on a school night).I love the way 17 year olds think you are stupid and at 45 you cannot possibly remember what it was like to be 17, I do remember only too well which is the problem!
Last night Ariel and SnoWhite just would not shut up, anyone would think I did not have an upstairs with 4 bedrooms.
Churches unite over adoption row
The Church of England has backed the Catholic Church in its bid to be exempt from laws on adoption by gay couples.
Catholic leaders in England and Wales say its teachings prevent its agencies placing children with homosexuals and they will close if bound by the rules.
Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams and his counterpart in York, John Sentamu, have written to the PM.
They say "rights of conscience cannot be made subject to legislation, however well-meaning".
The Equality Act, due to come into effect in England, Wales and Scotland in April, outlaws discrimination in the provision of goods, facilities and services on the basis of sexual orientation.
The head of the Catholic Church in England and Wales, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, has denied claims by secular and gay-rights activists who have accused him of using "blackmail" in a bid to secure exemptions.

So the Catholic church says it will close it's adoption agencies if it can't discriminate against gay couples.
'Religion' should have nothing to do with how a child is placed with an adoptive family.

An unsigned British band have reached a settlement with Coca-Cola over the soft drink giant's use of their material in a television commercial.
The band, 7 Seconds of Love, argued that Coke used their song Ninja and its distinctive kitten-filled video without permission in a South American advert.

After talks, Coke agreed to an out of court settlement of an undisclosed sum.

I have never been impressed with Coca-Cola and their employee relations. Yes the companies that produce their product in certain countries maybe 'concessions' but Coca-Cola should still take responsibility for how these companies treat their employees.

Last night I read a blog entry from my friend at holyflamingsmoke
oh no, what have I done? .
The blog entry is about crime and it made me think about where I live and how safe I feel.Cardiff probably has the same crime rate as any where else but I don't think that it is really that bad. However, did you see this news report about Cardiff High Belle?

Girl robbed on her way to school

A girl was grabbed by a masked man and robbed as she walked to her secondary school through woods in Cardiff.

The girl, a pupil at Cardiff High School in the Cyncoed area, handed over the money and continued her journey to school while the man ran away.
The incident happened near Lake Road North at around 0820 GMT on Tuesday, say police, who want information.

She must have been walking through the wild gardens.DUH! I would never feel safe walking through any woods during the day.Nowhere is really safe today but I think the criminals where I live are like Bernie from TORCHWOOD.

They would sell their own grandmother(metaphorically) but harmless really.......well where I live anyway. The estate that I live on is a Local Authority housing estate but approximately 60% of the houses are now privately owned. Even though the houses were built in 1976 the estate has the atmosphere of a more established estate with families who have lived here since the estate was built. We have the Burglar Boys, small time drug selling(well gossip says so) and vandalism but it really isn't too bad a place to live.Compared to The Estate that Colin and Justin are working on where I live is positively idyllic.

Anyway, I am one of lifes worriers and have somebody murdered so close to your own home must be very scarey, my heart goes out to anybody who has to live in that situation.

It seems that tomorrow that I will be on WalesToday, the lunchtime and evening news. You will be able to see the recording on their website. I shall record it from the TV but not watch it, I am not brave enough!Watch out for Beauty's 15 seconds of fame!This morning I dropped SnoWhite off in town at the bus station for her trip to Vienna, I hope everything is ok as she is flying from Stanstead and there is a lot of snow that end of the country( It also seems that within Stanstead airport you have to catch a train to get to your departure gate, a bit like Newark I guess but SnoWhite is afraid she will get lost and miss her stop!).
Here it is just bl**dy cold. Last night I accidently left the heating on and the kitchen was still cold this morning and I usually don't like the heating on at night but I didn't even notice it.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


I see mothers taking their children to school in the morning wearing pj's, I see them going to the shops in pj's and I have seen them in ASDA wearing pj's.Is this a new fashion trend that I haven't heard of?
It is ok for the likes of Michael Jackson as he is a fruit loop(remember we are all mad but some are madder than others!) but please-are they just crazy or lazy?
If I showed up at Beauty's school wearing my pj's I am sure they would contact social services!

I watched five minutes and that was all I could cope with, Jo is such an obnoxious moo! Dirk came into the bedroom after being outside and Jo asked how Dirk was and he said,'Good' and then she asked him something like how are you feeling today and he said 'It's bloody cold out there'. And then when he left the room she bitched about him saying he was rude and ignorant and I was just amazed at where she got that from. No he isn't her best friend and that is because she has been such a sh*t to Shilpa. Cleo has joined Jo and Danielle's little group and they have become the new 'Witches Three'. Yep, enough is enough, even 5 minutes is too much time out of my week if they are going to be mean to each other all the time.

I saw this article on the BBC Wales website Tell us how Wales should be run

The Welsh assembly has power over key areas of our lives - including health, the environment and education.

In May, voters will go to the polls to decide who will run Wales for the next four years.
As part of its election coverage, the BBC is looking for 60 people from all walks of life to give their views on crucial issues right up to polling day.
People from this group - the BBC Wales 60 - will take part online, on radio and on television.
Anyone living in Wales can be involved - whether or not you intend to vote - with the chance to have your say on election issues as varied as the NHS and public transport, teaching standards and recycling.

So I decided to email them and see what they thought and they got back to me and today Beauty and I were interviewed and filmed for and will be on Wales Today. I shall get somebody to record it for me but I don't know if I could ever watch it. Yes I know I am very sad, well at least I got to give my opinion on the Welsh Assembly and education and Special educational needs funding.
I definitely have no desire to be famous, I could not imagine anything more awful. Being wealthy would be good though!

Monday, January 22, 2007


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'Altruistic' brain region found
Scientists say they have found the part of the brain that predicts whether a person will be selfish or an altruist. Altruism - the tendency to help others without obvious benefit to oneself - appears to be linked to an area called the posterior superior temporal sulcus.

I personally have always felt that altruism was more a learned behaviour. On the TV show CHILD OF OUR TIME there was an episode that talked about how much empathy a child had towards other people and in an experiment one child seemed to have no empathy towards the mother at all. I also felt this mother came across as cold and unloving(why I don't know, it could have been post-natal depression) and I felt this resulted in the child failing to show any empathy.

The article goes on to say

He added: "If you can educate from an early stage to be more altruistic that would be good for the community, and if you could also show that had an impact on brain development that would be very interesting."
He said true altruism was a rare or even intangible thing.

I have also felt that adult behaviour is never truly altruistic. Yes you have those who do missionary work, Nuns for example who live a religious life but can you ever be fully altruistic? Why do people do what they do?

Yes I agree that people do good things for many reasons, I donate to charity as much as I can and I try and do charitable acts but why?
I do them because I want to ease the pain and suffering of others, I want others to have a better life AND because it makes me feel better when I do it-I feel good about myself. Why does a religious person do what they do? Same as me I guess and they want a reward in the next life. Sounds good to me, we all have our own reasons for doing things but I don't believe that you can be 100% altruistic.
I believe also that mankind was physically created with the inability to be truly altruistic and to need to do things for 'selfish ' reasons so as to make them actually do things. An example- think about sex........take away the sex drive, attraction, the lust aspect, the emotion and what have you go? Just a very embarrassing, stupid thing-people would say,'I'm not doing that!'. Mankind had to reproduce itself in some way so the emotions served a purpose.
The things that parents do for children however are different and here I think that you can be truly altruistic, the parent who gives food to their child and doesn't eat themselves because there is not enough, parents who give kidneys for children - you know the kind of thing. However, perhaps the 'experts' would not put the child -parent situation in the mix.
I do believe though in what was suggested in the article about educating from an early age so you could see changes but it is not something that could happen in isolation, you need to teach the parents and the children at the same time or it might not work. I feel strongly about green issues, healthy eating and living and community values being taught in schools as the children then go home and teach the rest of the family. I am suggesting that teachers(as a lot of them already do) incorporate the positive into their existing teaching schedule. AND yes I know that teachers time is limited but many teachers already do these thing and do see a change in the attitudes of the children for the better.
AND before you all think that the whole of what I have just written was to culminate in this final rant on one of my 'issues' I need to say that I only just thought of the relevance of this.
Parking outside of schools. It is a nightmare everywhere, not just in the two schools close to my house. But I do think there is a solution. I have heard of a project whereby the parents, teachers and children take it in turns to be parking wardens outside of their schools. They cone off the Zig-Zag lines and the dangerous areas and confront parents who do not park considerately and legally. They also take photos of persistent 'offenders' and give them to the police. I do believe that educating the child in this situation would have a huge impact on
the behaviour of the parents and so produce greater safety and anti-social behaviour and when the child is older they are less likely to park in a dangerous and anti-social way.

Children though I think are different, I have heard of many instances of truly altruistic behaviour in children.
I have a niece who when she was little would have given you her last sweet, I don't know if she still would but I think that children lose their naturally altruistic behaviour by watching adults. Now that is a really sad thing.
Perhaps instead of us looking to teach the children perhaps we adults should look to learn from the child........little children are a lot nicer than the average adult!

Remember don't quote me on any of the above, I could be wrong. I am certainly not an expert in psychology or any other -ology for that matter , just a mother who sees her own children and the world around her and comments on it.

Sunday, January 21, 2007


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Yikes it was cold this morning when I got up, having a very large stone kitchen floor doesn't help! I definitely think the Romans had the right idea with their underfloor heating. We have an area between the front and the back of the kitchen where the hot water pipes run under the floor and that spot is really good to stand on, it is a pity the rest of the floor can't be so warm. Well at least the hailstorm has finished! My neighbour,The Weatherman would be impressed at my increasing ability to discuss the weather, his ability far surpasses my own however and I am sure if requested he could discuss isobars and The Beaufort scale.
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Duck survives two days in fridge
A duck in the US state of Florida has survived gunshot wounds and a two-day stint in a refrigerator. A hunter shot the duck, wounding it in the wing and leg. Believing the bird was dead, he left it in his fridge at his home in Tallahassee.The hunter's wife got a fright when she opened the fridge and the duck lifted its head, a local veterinarian said.Staff at the Goose Creek Animal Sanctuary who are treating the bird said it has a 75% chance of survival.

So Pianoman, when is it a good time to eat duck? NEVER!

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Last night I watched the drama The Trial of Tony Blair and whilst it was hugely entertaining and very funny in parts, I have decided that teaching your children to be constantly questioning can sometimes be a pain in the butt. We sat there saying, 'Ooh that wouldn't happen' and Ooh it wouldn't quite happen like that,' but even still we did find it accurate enough to watch a lot of it
through our fingers.

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I would like to say however that in the University Hospital of Wales, before they had the Casualty Unit(Emergency Room) I worked on the Emergency Admissions Unit . Here we had patients who did not need to go through the casualty(more medical emergencies) but straight to specialist wards such as patients with continuing conditions, women with gynecological and obstetric problems, heart problems etc. Within minutes of the patient entering the unit their observations(Bp, pulse, resps etc) were started and continued throughout their stay in the department. They may not have seen the Doctor straight away but their conditions were monitored by the nurses throughout their stay. The staff in the Emergency Admissions(which is now combined with the casualty unit) were totally professional, efficient, friendly and kind and you couldn't have wanted for better staff to take care of you. AND the walls were always clean!
I do not believe that Tony Blair would have been left so long unattended and the situation implied that he wasn't seen by anybody. However, I was glad to see it portrayed this way, I was glad that the reality of long waits in a casualty unit were shown and also Mr Blair seeing faeces and blood splattered on a wall and an almost total absence of staff due to them being being busy elsewhere. And all this as a result of the government mismanagement of funding. I also believe that Tony Blair watched this program because there is no way he wouldn't want to see how he was portrayed and I hope he was suitably shocked and warned about the future.
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The acting in it was absolutely brilliant but I do not think that there will be a Knighthood any time soon for Robert Lindsay who portrayed the prime minister!

"Night has brought to those who sleep, only dreams they cannot keep"

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Good news on the sleep front, Beauty fell asleep at 9pm and awoke at 8:30am! A few wriggly-wakes during the night but she pretty much slept through the night! Perhaps with this increase in sleep time my memory and clarity of thought might return...............nah! I think that my ability to think clearly and remember things went long ago, about the same time as my knees!
At the moment Beauty is playing on the computer whilst reading my Knitting and Crochet book, Beauty loves to turn pages of books and look at pictures
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WOW! Yep I'm late writing tonight, sorry girls!
Uninspiring day spent doing very little but then that is what weekends are for thank goodness.

The weather has been appalling, rain, thunder, hail and wind. And it is definitely getting colder though I am sure it is not as cold as Vienna at the moment, any snow Anastasia? Any sun in Florida Belle? See I'm a true Brit, always talking about the weather!
17 years ago the roof of SnoWhites nursery school blew off in a storm, luckily the children got out in time but since then windy weather has left me less than impressed. I have a flat roof extension and it is definitely making noises! Think what I would have been like if I had been visiting Belle in Mississippi when the hurricane hit, I would have been a nervous wreck.

Jade Goody has been evicted from the BB house and I don't think she seemed sorry at all and yes I still think she was a bully and being racist but I feel sorry for her. From the start of this furore I have felt that Big Brother was guilty of allowing the situation to escalate and not putting a stop to it. Big Brother seems to have been glad of everything that has happened but I think in this case that not all publicity is good publicity.Let us hope that Endemol and Channel 4 learn from this situation.

Beauty has had a good day singing, dancing and playing on the computer. In the last few months Beauty has improved dramatically with speech, understanding and processing. As I have said before her speech seems to be confined to set phrases but she has enough speech to let everybody know what she wants. I am convinced that Beauty's talking will get better and better. I read a blog daily called Whitterer on Autism and the writer has 2 sons who are on the spectrum and their speech is brilliant and very entertaining. I really hope that Beauty will get to be so good. In lots of ways I feel that Beauty has greater understanding and intelligence than some other children locally who are the same age as Beauty, Beauty's problem is communicating what she knows.

Friday, January 19, 2007


Excuse for oversleeping(and no the cat did not eat my alarm clock!)
Uncharacteristically, I awoke this morning at 8:16am and I was able to feed Beauty, wash her and dress her in clean clothes AND get to school by 9am(I was meant to be there by 8:55am).Well I was impressed!
I returned home to do a pretty convincing impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop,the scene where he returns home from his first day as a nursery teacher and passes out on the bed.I overslept due to elbow pain keeping me awake through the night, Yes I know, pretty lame excuse! AND I have a zit on my face! I know even old people have zits on their face but in my entire life I can count on my fingers how many zits I have had on my face, I know it sounds unbelievable but it is true. My children are envious because their skins is pretty much the same as any other person who suffers with skin eruptions , however I tell them they are lucky as my back used to be covered with the kind of acne that only medication could deal with! Too gross too even contemplate on a Friday morning!

Windy weather calms down( but hot air and wind involving the Big Brother house continues to create a maelstrom).
The weather in South Wales appears to be calming down and the drive to school this morning was a lot less blowy though the bad driving continues, others as well as me-I have been accused of 'confusing the car' by pulling away to fast and this from the person who thought perhaps the birds poop so much on my car because they are attracted to the colour of the car!( don't even try to figure that one out!).
Politicians continue to add their little piece of hot air to the melee that surrounds the Big Brother house

Government Chief Whip Jacqui Smith waded into the furore, urging people not to watch Big Brother because of what she described as "racist bullying".
In the strongest condemnation of the show by a minister so far, she said the behaviour had been totally "unacceptable".Ms Smith also attacked the programme-makers, saying that the editing had been wrong and that it was "shameful to make money and publicity out of that sort of thing'

and if any politician is out there composing a rap in response to the situation( as they seem inclined to do but why I don't know!).................for our sanity and your dignity, please do not do it! Stick to what you do best..........what is that again?
Thankfully the beginning of the end should be in sight this evening as Jade Goodie and Shilpa Shetty are both up for eviction in the Big Brother house. I am sure that Big Brother will be disappointed when Jade is evicted as there will be less opportunity for fighting and arguing in the house. Here again I was wrong.........I discussed the possibility of this year being the most boring of all Celeb BB years but the three witches and their spitefulness has changed my opinion on that.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


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Reassuring to know that even though the weather is pretty torrential out there the usual standard of driving is not affected.Speeding, undertaking and crazy parking goes on unabated and that is just from what I have seen on my short drive to school and back.

However it is also reassuring to know that the hosepipe ban in many areas has just been lifted.

Water companies lift hosepipe ban
Four water firms in the south east of England are lifting their hosepipe bans after months of above average rainfall.Thames Water, Southern Water, Three Valleys Water and Sutton and East Surrey Water have lifted the ban, which affected more than 13m customers.The restrictions were introduced last year amid concerns following record dry winters for two consecutive years.But the Environment Agency warned groundwater levels are still low and there is a risk of drought next summer.Both South East Water and Mid Kent Water said they would review their ban at the end of January.

Like the saying goes,
It makes as much sense as a fish riding a bicycle

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


'Pay for surgery' option dropped
Plans to offer NHS patients the option of paying for their surgery to avoid waiting lists have been abandoned.Chief executive of Northampton General Hospital, Andrew Riley, has withdrawn a letter sent on 8 January which outlined new plans for minor surgery.People were offered an option of paying certain amounts for their treatment but the move was completely unacceptable to the Department of Health.In a letter Mr Riley said the hospital trust had withdrawn the option.

I wonder what changed their minds?
Public opinion perhaps?
Common sense tells you that the above idea could not work. If reduced price operations are offered in NHS hospital because of long waiting lists them it means that those 'jumping the queue' make the queue even longer for those who cannot afford to pay! And if the hospital had said,'Oh no, it wouldn't have affected the list because these would have been extra', my computer class were of the opinion,'Would you really want a major operation done by an already overworked, overtired NHS workforce?'.Had they even considered that some staff who remain in the public sector do so because of ideological reasons and do not want to participate in the private operations. Some Doctors do not have private patients or do any private work.

I wondered how long it would take for the pompous self proclaimed intelligentsia to rear their superior heads.
According to the views on the BBC website regarding the Celeb BB debacle ,I am any one of the following because whilst I am exercising, embroidering or doing housework, I use my free agency to watch Big Brother.

I just can't believe that anyone with a functional intellect bothers to watch this dumbed-down lager-swilling, kebab-munching, chav fodder. This must be the sort of television that the feckless watch, whilst their unappetising offspring are out yobbing.

We all need to get our own lives so this kind of programming will end.

The people who watch big brother do so in the hope of watching something horrific unfold before their eyes, much like this incident. They are the sort of people who slow down on motorways to get a better view of a car crash. Why? Who knows, perhaps something is sadly missing in their lives. There is a big beautiful world out there - get outside and enjoy it and help break the cycle of morons idolising morons (who will sadly go on to breed morons!!)

I am amazed that there are 4.5 million people sad enough to watch such a programme

These reality shows are silly. Why would anyone waste their time watching them when there is always something better on the History Channel?

This is pathetic! Anyone dedicated to watching this programme needs to get a life!

According to the above comments on the BBC website because I watch Celebrity Big Brother the functioning of my intellect is called into question, I am feckless and my children are out yobbing.
I am told I need to get a life, I am the sort of person who slows down to watch a road accident and there is something sadly missing in my life. I am also sad and pathetic.
The BBC has allowed these comments to be published about me and others like me and I find it unacceptable. Which proves that you can be bullied in or out of the Big Brother house, by stupid or (allegedly)intelligent people.
I am an individual disabled by arthritis and Dercum's disease and I use my free agency to watch TV as an enjoyable form of entertainment as my capabilities to 'go out and do something less boring instead' is just a little bit limited. Come on guys, play nice!

The Colour of Beauty
Today I watched Beauty play a game with colours and she was able to pick out red, yellow,
green and blue quite easily and then she went on to play with a game about time and she had no problem telling the time either. Yep! Not only is she beautiful but clever too!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Sleep in heavenly peace
I seem to have spent Saturday, Sunday and Monday in a tired haze and any writings for those days should be regarded with suspicion. I seem to have spent Saturday and Sunday asleep with brief attempts at wakefulness, each waking episode spent asking,'How is Beauty?'and the rest of the time spent filling and emptying dishwashers, washing machines and the tumble dryer.........the sign of a true Mother! I was lucky enough to have Fiona in the house to take care of Beauty and of course the child minder took Beauty out for three hours on Sunday afternoon and if I remember correctly I slept the whole time she was out. The tiredness is probably just life catching up on me.
Beauty quite happily bounced off to school today leaving me free to tidy my house, last night I watched an episode of Wife Swap(when I wasn't nodding off!) and I promise I would NEVER participate in that program and why? Because my house is too much of a hovel! However as SnoWhite pointed out, if I were to do something like that I would clean the house from top to bottom AND get in industrial cleaners. How people allow strangers into their house when it is so filthy is beyond me.
Once again to my shallower side!
I also watched The Baby Borrowers and I an convinced that Sam and Fisnik are RINGERS, there is absolutely no way that two individuals can behave so badly. I believe they are older than they make out and really graduates from acting college! I'm sorry Sam you gave it away when you performed over the poor child being sick, no real person behaves like that!
And as for Ceeleb BB are they being racist? I couldn't say because I do not know what they were thinking when they made the comments they made(but the comments did seem more than just unkind) and when they impersonated Shilpa's accent but in the last few days I have found myself trying(not very well!) to impersonate Danielle's accent just because I love it so much. Am I being racist? Danielle is English and I am Welsh and Wales and England have quite an historically volatile relationship and even now wearing a English rugby shirts at the wrong time in the wrong place can be seen as rather unwise.
However I do believe that Jade, Jo and Danielle are just being typical girls who when they get together can become very catty and very spiteful and I do believe their behaviour is inspired by jealousy and does border on bullying but when they get out of the Big Brother house they will be appalled at their behaviour and regret a lot of what has happened. I really feel that BB needs a house meeting to discuss the situation before BB and the Celebs get themselves into anymore sh*t.
Celeb BB update
Not having watched BB properly for a number of days I have updated myself on what has been going on by accessing BB videos on YouTube and reading written extracts and I can say that my opinion of what has been going on has changed. Before I wasn't sure but now I am, the behaviour regarding Shilpa is unacceptable and should not be allowed to go on. This evening I watched Jermaine comforting Shilpa about the situation and he believed they were doing what they were doing because of the colour of Shilpas skin. It seems that Act against Bullying has taken pictures of Jade Goodie off their website, they said it was because she had not been acting properly. I no longer think it is bordering on bullying, it is bullying.

I know it seems as if I only ever watch TV but I only seem to manage to watch TV after 9pm and even then I am exercising or feeding the machines(dishwashers, washing machines etc!). As I have explained before I have quite wakeful nights with the adorable but active autistic 6 year old who wakes a few times in the night and then when she goes to school I catch up on my sleep.
Whilst I nap I have the washing machines, dishwashers and tumble dryer running and then I am awake in the evenings and that is when I do a lot of my house work(well I try!). So in theory I work nights but I do not get any nights off. Even when I was a night nurse in a nursing home I only worked 4 nights a week, apart from the week when Belle got married and 1 night when I attended a church camp(don't ask!) I have been with Beauty constantly since she was born and since we knew about her autism it has been really difficult to leave her with anybody who doesn't understand her.
I am sure that there are other mothers on their own at Beauty's school but I have just never seen them , I seriously wonder how they all seem to cope with relationships. Where do they find the time and the energy?
Talking about rubbish!
This morning I drove SnoWhite to university to do a presentation and to get there we had to go along the dual carriageway and the traffic was nose-to-tail because there were council workers on the verges picking litter and so for their safety one lane was coned off. Most of the dual carriageway has deciduous trees along it so as well as litter there are also a lot of leaves, now I understand the leaves but who in their right mind throws rubbish from a moving car because apart from being thrown off the bridges there seems to be no other explanation for where the litter comes from. I know my children would never drop litter and they also feel strongly about people dropping litter so what kind of person does this? Years ago when I was 15 I remember walking home from church with two other girls and one of them threw a large piece of rubbish on the road and we insisted that she pick it up and bin it, we were both shocked that she had no idea that what she was doing was unacceptable.
The song of 2007?
Since I found a CD of Daniel Bedingfield in my car(it belongs to one of the girls.......I think!) I have been playing it constantly and I know when I have become obsessive about a piece of music because Beauty knows all the words when she hears it being played.
My favorite track is If your not the one and this morning it was playing as I parked up in Beauty's school and as the car stopped I turned the CD off and Beauty kept on singing! Not as embarrassing as one of the other boys in Beauty's school, his Dad likes show tunes and they appear to be played a lot in their home as the boy is word perfect. I just can't help thinking about the song,'I'm just a girl who can't say no'.

Sunday, January 14, 2007


A few years ago whilst doing my teachers training we discussed examples of student confidentiality. I was surprised to find out that my children could be exposed to quite dangerous individuals and the teachers and the parents and the students did not have a right to know this information. Hopefully this is no longer true.
One lecturer discussed a situation whereby he had taken a group of students on an Outward Bound weekend and whilst away the students had shared a dormitory type bedroom. There had been the usual high spirits and bickering but nothing too serious. Later on the lecturer found out that one of the students that he had taken on the trip was on bail for a serious knifing incident! He confronted the Head of Department who it turned out knew nothing about the situation. A decision had been made by higher powers in the college, they had decided that the confidentiality of the student on bail was most important! There were 16 and 17 year olds in the group, surely The Children's Act would still have applied to these young people. As a parent I feel it is my right to know if dangerous people are in contact with my children.
It seems that the Conservative party does not agree with proposals to share information between government departments.
I do appreciate some of the arguments against the proposals,

The Liberal Democrats accused the government of stripping the public of its privacy.
"Blair's Britain now has the most intrusive government in our history," leader Menzies Campbell said.
"There is no part of people's lives which is free from snooping.
"State intervention and control expands every day. It is time we put a halt to this." he added.

and also the comments made by the organisation Liberty.

Human rights group Liberty said the government had contempt for people's privacy.
"This half-baked proposal would allow an information free-for-all within government - ripe for disastrous errors, and ripe for corruption and fraud," the group's director Shami Chakrabarti said.

I do not believe that the government has the capabilities, the intelligence or strong enough ethical base to implement their plans effectively. So where does that leave us and our children? As always, at risk because of a lack of a cohesive safety system for our welfare. Our children can go to school and come into contact with individuals who have been police checked but go to church and be taught by individuals who do not have to be police checked.
I have been a parent now for almost 25 years and I have learned to ask the right questions.
Questions with YES and No answers are the only ones I ask and I let them know if they put my child at risk then I will sue their ass. Obsessive? HELL YES!
The year before my eldest went to school there was the tragic school accident whereby children were drowned at Land' End which subsequently gave me a fear of all school trips. I have never felt happy letting my girls go on school trips but I always let them go apart from Anastasia's first summer school trip. At the age of 5 they wanted to take them from their local school in Newbury in Berkshire to London on the train and then catch local transport buses and walk across London roads to the Natural History Museum. I said NO but they still went and nothing happened thankfully, Anastasia says she does not remember the situation but as an adult is glad I did not let her go.
Ariel was on a train to London when the bombs went off on7/7, Anastasia was in Russia when the Theater siege took place, I was in Spain in a resort where bombs were set off by ETA and I was also in a resort in Turkey where bombs were set off on a local transport bus. Poo happens I know but doing your best to minimise the risks to yourself is so important.
My personal mantra is
for me this means always be aware, trust no one but yourself to take care of you and your loved ones

And why beware of parked cars? In Russia parents tell their children not to walk past the parked expensive cars as they belong to the new Russian elite and they have been known to be blown up in the past!

The three paintings at the National Museum of Wales in Cardiff that I would love to own.

Number 1

SINNOTT, Kevin (1947 - ),

Running Away with the Hairdresser

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Number 2

MONET, Claude (1840 - 1926),

Rouen Cathedral: Setting Sun

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Number 3

RENOIR, Pierre-Auguste (1841 - 1919),

The Parisian Girl [La Parisienne]

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Sigur Ros - Glosoli



Saturday, January 13, 2007


OH Hello! Here we have a proof that 'you can't wear a crucifix around your neck because of heath and safety' is a load of rubbish.
School row over girl's crucifix
A Roman Catholic schoolgirl's desire to wear a crucifix necklace has led to her religion clashing with her school's health and safety policy.

Look at the Robert Napier School prospectus ,the uniform includes a tie, so you can wear a tie around your neck but not a small chain! The school also says that in years 10 and 11 you can wear 'discreet jewellery', so why in years 10 and 11 but not in years 7,8 and 9? How are you safer when you are in years 10 and 11. So they are telling her that she cannot wear the chain NOW but when she enters the fourth year of high school she will be ok!
I personally would not wear religious symbols BUT I do believe in any individuals right to do so if that is what they wish.
I believe that central government, after consultation with religious leaders and members of the public,needs to make a decision as to what is acceptable to be worn within in schools, with regards to religion. For many religion is part of their every day life and this needs to be accepted and their needs met within the school environment. Everywhere you go you hear people talking about 'an holistic approach' but denying an individuals religious expression is hardly 'holistic'.

Words fail me as to the departure of Leo Sayer on Celeb Big Brother, his behavior was worse than a toddler! Jermaine Jackson was gutted at his departure, Leo could have at least said goodbye properly to people who had been good to him and his language was shocking. And the papers are printing the story that Donnie wants to go back into the house.........look Donnie wasn't 15 minutes enough? Oh go on then, eek it out to 15 1/2 as you really were quite entertaining! I am also gutted that Dirk fancies Shilpa, Dirk is really quite cute(I am so sad, I sound like a teenager!).

HOW TO CHEER UP A CRYING SIX YEAR OLDPhotobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Just casually say Charlie and Lola and she instantly knows it is her computer time and will be at the computer faster than the speed of light.Whoosh.......she's there.
SnoWhite has been at the house over the weekend so computer time has been even more limited due to SnoWhite's need to do research for her ART Degree Project. Try explaining that to an autistic 6 year old who only talks in phrases such as-WELL DONE, I TOLD YOU TO LIE DOWN, THE END,ONCE UPON A TIME, SCHOOL,STOP IT, DON'T,THE CAR, ASDA (LOVES THAT WORD) etc.
It is so sad to watch Beauty cry when you say NO because she just does not understand and her face goes really blotchy with weeping. Autism is such a hard thing at times.
We also have a slide lock on the outside of the living room door, it is a split stable door with a glass window in it. When somebody is in with her(usually watching TV), and somebody is sat at the computer which is close to the door, we sometimes lock the door to keep Beauty in with the person in the living room( Beauty has no sense of danger and has to be watched 24/7). To get out the person in the living room has to knock on the door, now when Beauty knocks on the door she just doesn't understand why nobody opens the door for her.It is so sad to be so small and
not understand the world that you live in.

Things are getting worse with my left arm, I cannot even pick up a cup without it really hurting. The pain is constant so I think it is time for a return to the Doctor, I have become quite expert at one finger typing. It will probably be a week before I can get an appointment anyway and if the Doctor thought something was really wrong it could be 18 months before I was able to be seen in the hospital. The worst thing is I can no longer knit or crochet, I find it impossible to sit without doing something so I think I shall do some cross stitch and if I were to buy a large frame I could do it mostly with my right hand. And of course I haven't done any painting or collage or photography in a while so I need to start on those again.
BUT I have started writing again and I have completed a children's story and if I were to do some paintings to go with the story perhaps I could start selling some of my work. I have thought about using the skills learned in my web design class to create a web site to be a self-representing artist and sell my work online through places such as ebay W ell it is January and time for new beginnings, we shall see what happens!




An Irish Blessing

(A Blessing from St. Patrick)
May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

May the rains fall soft upon your fields,

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.