Sunday, July 25, 2010


Here is my little destroying angel, after this evenings reign of destruction and just before bed.

I am awake and cannot sleep but so far I am not too concerned as I feel like I slept for three quarters of yesterday and I actually feel so much better for it.

Beauty is asleep and even though I am awake,it is not nearly as bad as HAVING to be awake.

Here is a picture of Beauty which looks as if she is ready and waiting in the starting blocks, ready for the starter`s gun to be shot so that she can burst forth into more trouble and fun.

Which usually means fun for her and trouble for me!

As I couldn`t sleep`, I decided to read one of my Creative Writing Text books and one assignment that I found was to write your own version of a famous story.It is hardly on the level of Ten Things I Hate About You but as The Three Bears is one of Beauty`s Favourites, I thought that I would have a go at re-writing that.
Each time that I tell Beauty the story it changes slightly and she seems to like that so here goes.

Goldilocks And The Three Bears.

Once upon a time there were 3 bears who lived in a nice house in a nice town and baby bear went to a nice school.
Daddy bear worked for the civil service and used his flexi-time so that Mummy bear could stay in bed in the morning whilst Daddy bear took Baby bear to school because if Daddy bear left it to Mummy bear then Baby bear would get to school without having had breakfast and Mummy bear would still be in her PJ`s.
One Saturday morning, at about 11am when Mummy bear was making the porridge for breakfast( she hadn`t long got up), Daddy bear suggested that they go for a walk whilst the porridge cooled down.
Daddy`s real motive however was not for the porridge to cool down but he hoped that if they went for a walk then there was always the possibility that the house might get broken in to and the porridge stolen as Mummy was not very good at making porridge! It usually ended up black and crunchy and smelling like toffee which Baby bear didn`t mind so much as he quite liked toffee but Daddy was different.
He went to church every Sunday and really believed that one day his prayers would be answered with regards to the porridge which was that someone would steal it or a house fairy would get lost and end up in their house and throw it in the bin!
So off they went for a walk, well they got as far as the car and Daddy bear said “ LETS GO FOR A DRIVE INSTEAD”. So they all piled in the car and that is what hey did.
And whilst they were out, guess who should come along but…..The Postman!
And then came the Gas man and finally just when the poor house thought it was going to get a moments peace, who should come along but Goldilocks.
Though why a child under the age of 10 was out wandering on her own has always been a concern to me…..did her parents know where she was or did they even care!
Anyway, back to the story.
Goldilocks knocked on the door but there was no answer and so she knocked again but there was still no answer and the third time when there was no answer she thought TO HECK WITH THIS and tried the door handle and lo and behold it was open and in she went.
I am sorry but I think that this is a case for Supernanny, this child is wandering here there and everywhere and going in other peoples houses as she pleases.
I think Goldilocks mummy needs a good slap.
On entering the house , Goldilocks found herself in the kitchen and there on the table she found 3 bowls of porridge.
And she sat down and started to eat them!
Lets see, wandering trespassing and now stealing by consumption!
Though I am sure Goldilocks didn`t see it that way.
First she tried Daddy bears porridge but that had too many black bits in it and Mummy bears bowl didn`t have much in it at all as she was on a diet but Baby bears porridge was perfect so Goldilocks ate it all up.
Feeling tired, Goldilocks decided to sit down but she thought Daddy bears chair smelt like and old dog or bear so she thought NOT A CHANCE! Then Mummy bears was not much better as it was a Kartell Louis Ghost Chair and Goldilocks thought that it looked too uncomfortable to sit on so she tried Baby bears chair which was a small wooden rocking chair which turned out to be very comfortable.
So she rocked and rocked and she rocked until she broke it and thinking Ooops! She went up stairs without a second thought.
So now we have wandering, trespass, stealing by consumption and finally vandalism!
So totally unaware of having done anything wrong(sounds like a bit of a sociopath to me) Goldilocks went upstairs and thought A LITTLE REST WOULD BE GOOD. So first of all she went to try Daddy bears bed but again it smelt of wet dog or old bear so she thought NO!
And Mummy bears bed was a water bed and again Goldilocks thought NO, I GET SEA SICK! So she took one look at Baby bears bed and thought PERFECT(nothing exciting, just a nice ordinary divan!). Jumped on and fell asleep immediately.
And whilst she was asleep who should come back but The Three Bears, Grumpy Daddy bear(they had stopped at the shop for some milk and run into Brian from work who had proceed to tell him , quoting evidence, WHY milk was not good for him!), Pj wearing Mummy Bear and very hungry Baby bear.
On seeing the door open ,Daddy thought OH YES, MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED AND THE PORRIDGE HAS BEEN STOLEN but was very disappointed to see that his porridge was untouched and so was Mummy bears porridge BUT Baby bears porridge was all gone and Baby bear was very sad and not a little hungry!
And then Baby bear noticed his chair was broken and started to cry but daddy bear couldn`t understand why someone had not sat in his chair especially as it smelt so nice. And as for Mummy bear, she was just grateful that someone had not sat in her a Kartell Louis Ghost Chair and went straight away to get the polish and duster to make sure it was still clean and sparkling! So Daddy Bear
suggested that they go and check out the rest of the house which they did.
And yet again Daddy bear was surprised that nobody had tried sleeping in his sweetly smelling bed and Mummy bear was relieved that nobody had tried her water bed …..CHEEK IF THEY HAD she thought!
But Baby bear who was still crying said “SOMEONES BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED AND THEY ARE STILL THERE“!
And they all looked to Baby bears bed and there was Goldilocks, fast asleep.
But Baby bear was not too pleased and stomped to the bed and gave Goldilocks a shove and woke her up.
Goldilocks sat up in shock and Baby bear struck a pose and shouted ”I KNOW KUNG FU“!
To which Goldilocks replied “YOU HAVE SO GOT TO BE A FEW FRIES SHORT OF A HAPPY MEAL” as she picked up Baby bear and deposited on top of the wardrobe as she jumped out of the window and ran all the way home!

AND THE MORAL OF THE STORY should be to respect the privacy and property of others but if you are a petty thief then just take what you can carry and leave because if you stay and sleep you will get caught.
And remember Goldilocks and The Three Bears is a fairy story because if you mess with the bears stuff and eat their food and sleep in their bed THEY WILL EAT YOU.
Goldilocks was LUCKY!


Saturday, July 24, 2010


Lack of inspiration is usually the reason that I do not write but today I got out my writing textbooks and looked for some ideas.

I found an assignment which suggested writing about the things on my kitchen table.

The result.

The table in my kitchen

Is filled with many things,

With things as large as bread machines

And others as small as rings.

I have a magnifying mirror

To make up my pretty (!) face,

First thing in the morning

When I feel I`ve just run a very long race.

A marrow and a record player

A sock and phone and lid,

Books and bowls and table cloth

And washing that I did.

A spoon, a tea towel, chopping board and pencil

And a rubber for my mistakes,

An empty ready meal packet

And a tin suitable for cakes.

In conclusion as I`m quickly

Running out of the space I`ve got

Are all my acquisitions necessary?

Definitely.....Possibly.....Maybe Not!

It may not be wonderful poetry but it will go in my journal as a snap shot in time!

Friday, July 23, 2010


I am awake!
But the hyperactive 9 year old is not and so I have access to the computer without fear of a full frontal assault or my toes being tickled!
Beauty`s sleep routine has been like living with a baby in the house for the last 9 years.I am getting just a little tired of this and sadly I know that not even Supernanny could handle this because Beauty just cannot rationalise.

Talking of Supernanny.....I can hardly say it is my favourite TV show but I can say I am mesmerised by it when it comes on TV.
Many times when I watch the show I cannot believe it is actually real.
Surely parents do not behave that badly?
One program I was convinced was not about the children but about mummy getting on TV.
Each time we saw mummy she had a different outfit on and her makeup and hair was perfect.
OH and the boobs definitely came out of a packet!
One comment about this show on The Supernanny website that I found quite funny was `the tag line of the show was Mummy loses control of her 3 boys, heck she would lose control of the daddy if it weren`t for the boobs!`
When they were growing up,my girls were definitely angels in comparison.

Feeding is definitely a thing that I have gained an insight into from watching Supernanny.
One thing she did say however that I do not agree with is that there isn`t any reason why a child shouldn`t eat everything .Beauty has a Selective eating disorder and whilst her eating is not too selective,there are definitely things she will not eat.
Beauty will eat bread, ham, pizza ,toast,chicken nuggets and pop corn, fish,crisps, yoghurt , breakfast cereal,yorkshire puddings, chicken,tomato sauce, raw cabbage and carrots whenever you put them in front of her but she will not eat fruit or any other vegetables.
All the food she eats is because she has seen them and decided that she wants to eat them.
My problem has been that she eats because she is bored.
I have tried her with other foods many times but she just doesn`t want to know.
Another problem has been that when she starts to wander around the house ,I ask her what she wants and she will always reply with some kind of food.
She now seems to be eating constantly so now when she starts to wander I ask her where she is going and the answer is usually not food.
Plus I am now hiding crisps and when she asks for them I always say that they are ALL GONE and offer her Petit Filous or carrots or ham instead which she always accepts.

Thank goodness the only drink she likes is a no added sugar drink and she will not eat sweets which can`t be bad.
Imagine.....a 9 year old who will not eat sweets!
Beauty was in school one day making sandwiches for a birthday tea for one of the boys and they were making ham sandwiches and she just decided there and then that she LIKED ham.This has been a blessing because now whe can go out and I can make her ham sanwiches to take.
Though it has never been too much of a problem having food when we were out as there is a MacDonalds EVERYWHERE and she will always eat the chicken nuggets and tomatoe sauce!
And as for the Pizza Hut Pizza Buffet, she will eat twice as much as any adult.
Thank goodness though that her eating issues extend to not eating the bread part of the pizza or she would be the size of a house by now.

However, if all else fails and there is nothing else available, the disgusting child has her own buffet on tap!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Is autism to blame for Beauty getting up so early in the morning?
Many might blame her sleeping patterns on autism , which have never been that brilliant but I think it is just to do with the light mornings.
Everyone has given me their suggestions , from other parents of children on the spectrum, to teachers,to speech therapists , to every `other` kind of specialist.
I however think it is not to do with her autism but her developmental delays in the sense that in many ways she is like a normally developing 9 year old and in other ways she is just like a toddler.
In this way I think she is just like a toddler.
It is light,she sees the light and then wants to get up.
She has been on every medication you can think of to try and stabilise her sleep patterns but nothing seems to work consistently so I stopped the medication.
Many might think that I should take the medication and be grateful but I really do not want Beauty on medication forever.
OK, they may say the medication is fine now and has no side effects but who really knows?
In 20 years time when she develops some illness linked to the medication, what will the Doctors say then, Oh Sorry, We were told it was OK.
I have been considering painting the glass in her bedroom windows black so she cannot see the dawn.
I know it sounds a bit drastic but she only sleeps in the room so she doesn`t need the light to play in there.
When I suggest this to people they say
`OH Why don`t you use blackout blinds ` ,
I say `You do not know Beauty. She has no sense of danger`.

Monday, 15 February 2010
Two Staffordshire children killed by blind cords

Harrison Joyce's father is campaigning for a ban on looped blind cords
Two children from Staffordshire have been killed in separate incidents by cords attached to blinds.
Sixteen-month-old Lillian Bagnall-Lambe, from Stafford, died on Tuesday after becoming entangled.
Her death follows that of Harrison Joyce, three, who died at his home in Lichfield on 4 February.
Staffordshire Police and the county coroner have issued advice following the deaths, warning parents to be aware of the dangers of dangling cords

So I think that my plan of action is to paint the window black before the summer holidays and see if that works!

And I am sure you are wondering, with all this talk of sleep, why I am not sleeping soundly in my bed!
Well, as usual it is a pain in the b.....ack thing and my back appears to have a voice of its own at the moment and it seems to be screaming in agony.

Definitely painkiller time!

Margo McCaffery is a registered nurse and pioneer of the field of pain management nursing. McCaffery's oft-quoted definition of pain as "whatever the experiencing person says it is, existing whenever and wherever the person say it does" has become the prevailing conceptualisation of pain for clinicians over the past few decades.
I love this quote!
Easy to remember and it can ALWAYS be used in any nursing essay.
I used it in 3 different essays in my nursing final exams.
YET.....if this is the case , why do I and others like me, who are in severe pain, feel as if we are not believed when we say we are in pain?
My opinion is because of the type of funding of the health care that is provided in the UK.
Other countries think that we have Free Health Care for all but that is not true.
When you work , you make contributions that pay for your health care and those who are unable to work have their health care paid for by the state.
Before Beauty was born, the condition of my spine deteriorated rapidly and I was unable to work.
Remember, I had worked as a nurse for the NHS and paid my health care contributions.
So I was entitled to Health Care even though I couldn`t work.
But it is also obvious that there is only a certain amount of money in the Health Care pot and in some circumstances(well most really), the patients suffering most, get treated first and I can see and appreciate this.
Yet, I have spent the last 3 days in bed in agony and today I received a letter from the NHS saying that I had been referred but I was on a waiting list and the patients with the most problems would be seen first.
OK but I am in agony now and I have `severe `(now how many NHS doctors do you know that commit to using the word severe,it must be bad!) arthritis in my spine and disc damage.
So if I could afford to pay, I would be seen now but because I can`t afford it, I must wait.
Plus, before I had the x rays done,I felt as if even with my GP, my level of pain wasn`t appreciated because it couldn`t be seen.
Yet the GP sees an x ray of crunchy,crumbly bones and they can appreciate that the situation is`severe`.
I personally feel sorry for the GP`s.
They have a patient in a lot of pain, they can say THIS IS THE PROBLEM, refer them and know that it is still going to be quite a while before the patient is seen by a consultant.

So,McCaffery's oft-quoted definition of pain as "whatever the experiencing person says it is, "
"don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world”.

‘Ah, Mrs Plankhurst, come in and tell me, did the yoga I recommended help to ease your back pain?’

Monday, July 12, 2010


The day wakes,

Soft and smudged and empty.


To be lived

And loved

And to be filled,

With the happiness of happenings.

That will leave a stain

In my heart,

That will still be there

When I look back

Thirty years from now.

And remember,

How I loved you,

When I was

Still young

And the world was new.....

To me.

Thursday, July 08, 2010


The weather forecast said it was going to be cooler today but I guess the weather man lied! Well at least it hasn`t been as hot as parts of the USA where they are having a heatwave but for somebody with very fair skin and red hair IT IS TOO HOT!

For however long it has been since I wrote properly on my blog, it has not been a time of inactivity. I have probably written more in these last few months than I have in my entire lifetime.
I have been writing a journal and I call it my Phd in Hind Sight.My journal is not just about my life but everything I have been reading and how I feel about the books.I have also started another book but this is just about memories from growing up.
My girls have suggested that I write about some of the things that have happened in my life and write a book but my answer was NOT A CHANCE!
And the main reason is that I hate Mis Lit and after reading Angela`s Ashes I swore I would never read another Mis Lit book and I haven`t.I hated the story in Angela`s Ashes about Angela`s baby girl that died, it upset me so much that I said NEVER AGAIN!

But going back to writing a blog entry is really difficult after writing a journal because journal entries can be so much more personal and you write in a journal about really private things that you would not dream of sharing with the world.
Plus I had forgotten how fast it is to write on the computer compared to writing my journal by hand. I really enjoy writing by hand and I write with gel pens as they give a `similar`effect to writing with an ink pen.Perhaps I shall try an ink pen as well!
Whenever I think of writing with an ink pen I think of Winston Smith in 1984 and his journal writing experiences.

However ,I have to confess that my writings are not those of a literary genius and the stories in my life are probably not exciting or even interesting!
At the moment I am reading Mein Kamf and I have to admit that I irreverently call it My Whitterrings!
I really do believe that it even surpasses Midnight`s Children as being the MOST BORING BOOK .....EVER!
I am about three quarters of the way through and it has become like wading through molasses to try and read!Not only is it downright boring but you can only take reading so much irrational , racially abusive bull-shit.
I truly understand why even many of Hitler`s inner circle say they tried to read it but couldn`t get through it!It has to be one of the most depressing pieces of writing I have ever encountered.
Perhaps I do not want to write a book because somebody else might say that my book is the MOST BORING BOOK.....EVER!

Wednesday, July 07, 2010


Some random thoughts about me and my random thoughts!

1. God gives you a free ticket to spend the night with absolutely anybody in the world and the entirety of history – whom do you choose?

Well.....considering I do not believe in God, my first reaction would be to pass out at the shock that God exists and he has actually spoken to me!
But a choice of actually anybody?
Hitler, to ask him WHY and IS HE SORRY and I would rather meet him in the day!

2. Frankie Howard or Frankie Boyle? (This is a separate question and is not related to no. 1 above.)
Mmmm.....neither really so perhaps I`d just go for Frankie and Benny's.

3. What life skill or ability do you wish you possessed?

The ability to play the piano.
However, I have quite pronounced Clinodactyly and have tried to learn many times but my fingers just will not stretch far enough.

4. If it takes Johnny three hours to fill a bath with water using a colander and a train travelling at 90mph takes 2 hours to reach it’s destination why does Britain no longer have the right to call itself Great?

A. First, why did dumb Johnny not turn on the bath taps?
B.Second,with the train are we talking `leaves on the line` or `the wrong kind of snow` .
Britain will always be GREAT , its greatness has just evolved and changed!

5. Have you ever genuinely wished to be a member of the opposite sex (or are you that already)?

Let me see.........

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs' tails.


6. Do you have any embarrassingly weird interests or hobbies – and if so please explain in detail?

My degree was in History and I specialised in Welsh History but my interest is now Hitler and The Third Reich. I just do not understand WHY or HOW it could happen and the more I read the less I seem to understand.
Some of my children think my interest is weird.

7. Dance, Punk, Goth, Metal, Grunge, Pop, Country, Folk or Classical? The choice is yours.

Actually, anything but Jazz and Trance!
I loathe both.

8. If you could change anything about your current lifestyle / life situation, what would it be? And what would you keep?

I would like a new spine and a replacement of all joints.
And of course I would keep the joy of my life, my six girls.

9. If you were a packet of crisps what flavour would you be?

McCoy's Flame Grilled Steak

10. Describe the sandwich of the gods.

Walkers Salt and Vinegar Crisps sandwich made with thin, cheap white bread.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010


Yesterday when I went to my neighbours house to return an Avon catalogue she had left me, she commented on the fact that my stomach was FAT!
Good sales technique....HUH!
She has mentioned this before and she is about a size 20/22 whilst I wear size 14/16 jeans and usually I think WHATEVER!
But yesterday I have to admit that it upset me.
Yesterday I was feeling exhausted after doing so much and everyone knows that when your back hurts you tend to slouch which of course makes your stomach look bigger.
Well that`s my excuse and I am sticking to it!
Since I have started dieting I have lost over 4 stone and gone from a size 22 to a size 14/16 which is not bad but I seriously think that after 7 babies my stomach muscles can only achieve so much!
And I do not intend to have cosmetic surgery to resolve the problem.
My Pollyannaism for the situation is that if I slouch on a bus then perhaps someone will give up their seat for me.
However, thinking about it, maybe not at my age!
When I went for my last spinal x ray ,for the first time I wasn`t asked if it was possible I could be pregnant so I must be starting to show my age after a lifetime of people telling me how young I look!

Today is a SOFA DAY.
After yesterdays exhausting run-around, today I will rest on the sofa (with my phone super glued to my hand!) as much as possible and in between rests, try and get some housework done.
So far I have managed to get the `activity corner` going.....I have put on the washing machine and dish washer and I have put the piggies and the rabbits out in their runs which by the way they absolutely LOVE.

Well I did manage to get a rest and I must have fallen asleep because I was woken at 11.30am by the Fed Ex guy phoning me to tell me that he had a parcel for me and was at my garden gate.
It was nice to have a rest and not be rushing around.

Phew.....maybe another rest I think!

Monday, July 05, 2010


Yes I am alive but not kicking BUT HEY you cannot have everything.
I have had more x rays done on my spine and the arthritis is getting worse but if I stay lying down then the pain eases and goes away but I cannot lie down all day unfortunately(and Beauty wouldn`t let me anyway!)!
Oh Well.
But I have been referred to have my spine seen in the hospital and have possible work done on it or if that is not possible then have painkilling injections straight into my back.....ouch!
This week I am going back to have x rays on my knees and hips as they are also deteriorating but whilst they are very painful, the biggest problem with them is that they dislocate and the dislocating is getting worse and more frequent.But apart from that I am fit and well!!!!!
And Beauty is too.
Beauty`s Biggest problem is that as soon as it is light she is up and out of bed and ready to rock and roll.
And for me, 4 am is just too early to be rocking and rolling.

This early a wake up call leaves me comatose for the rest of the day.
Today was such a day.
For the first hour all I could do was lie on the sofa waiting for the meds to kick in.....which they never did!
I took the second lot of meds at 10am and only by 11 am did they start to work.
Then the rest of the day was spent ferrying Pianoman around to the doctors and chemist and the post office and to take some things to his mother in the nursing home in Llanrumney.
I have a sign in my car which says MUMs TAXI and it is so true.
My back is in 2 pieces because of all the driving and when I got home I almost collapsed.I admire Taxi Drivers,I so could not do it as a job.
Beauty was out with the childminders this afternoon and I so could not cope without them, they took Beauty to the Hollybush in Whitchurch for a carvery meal and she had a wonderful time.The childminders are brilliant.

Beauty enjoying a carvery at The Hollybush.

When she came back Runningman was here and he was at the house to help clear a little of the garage but I was way too tired for that so I had a lie down on my bed whilst he watched Beauty and she was very well behaved and watched her Hoob videos.

I knew there were a lot of Hoob videos out there but Beauty has been watching them since she was very young and I still haven`t seen a repeat!

And this evening has been really brilliant.
I sat on my sofa and did nothing but watch TV and write my journal and it has really helped.




An Irish Blessing

(A Blessing from St. Patrick)
May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

May the rains fall soft upon your fields,

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.