A BLOG ON THE SPECTRUM

Catch The Wind Lyrics (Donovan)

In the chilly hours and minutes,
Of uncertainty, I want to
be,
In the warm hold of your loving mind.

To
feel you all around me,
And to take your hand, along the
sand,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.

When sundown pales the sky,
I wanna hide a while,
behind your smile,
And everywhere I'd look, your eyes
I'd find.

For me to love you now,
Would be
the sweetest thing, 'twould make me sing,
Ah, but I
may as well, try and catch the wind.

When rain has
hung the leaves with tears,
I want you near, to kill my
fears
To help me to leave all my blues behind.

For standin' in your heart,
Is where I want to be,
and I long to be,
Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the
wind.

If we had to find a song that would define our lives then I think that this would be the one for me.
I feel that my life is all about lost hope, lost chances and what should have been and no I am not talking about husband number 2 (if there is a next life then when I meet him I will punch him in the head and tell him what an idiot he was for wasting his life and slap him once more for making me a young widow, selfish git) , I am talking about everything! I feel that most of what
I have lost or missed has been directly linked to me having been a mormon. DON'T get me wrong about the church, I am not saying that I made evil choices but choices were made that I would never make today because I believe there is no God. If it were now I know I would have delayed having children until I could have given them everything they deserved, I would have finished my nurses training and worked nights as a qualified nurse as they were growing up. It could be said that my son Marc died at birth because I was young, living in a bedsit with no money-I was a statistic, even though I will always blame myself it is probably true that I was just a statistic. I see his face in the faces of of the boyfriends of my girls that have passed through my house and now in the first husband and it is not a bad thing, it is a comfort that life goes on and it can be good. They will never go through what I went through, I shall see to that.
WOW! I sound like a lioness ready to protect her young. Perhaps it is these feeling that make me quite happy to spend the rest of my life on my own caring for Beauty. I actually think that Beauty will one day be good enough to care for herself and live her own life and then I will be content with my books, plants and paints and the visits from the grandbabies. It sounds like a good life.